I realize.....

I realize that I'm not that happy at all.

I thought I'm growing up to be more mature.

But, i think I'm still the childish person in you guys's eyes.

I accept it, cause it's the true.

I'm very honest bout it.

I thought I'll become more tough, to be stronger & cover those unhappy feelings in my mind.

but, i realize that's not that easy that i think before.

I thought i can learn to control my feelings.

but i'm just that moody at all time.

i'm just....maybe out of control.

i'm a sensitive person, i think.

cause i'm just so care people how they look at me, how they feel to me.

am i too .... hmm, how to say? even i can't found out what the words can describe my feeling which deep inside my 'glass heart'...

who am i mean to them?

i always think bout this silly question.

i really wonder.

i started to hate myself.

what's the value of me for them?

i feels like, am i suppose to be don't care them too?

cause bout the problem of value, maybe they not that worth for me.just like them done this to me. =[

or, maybe just i think too much, maybe that's not the true.

but i don't wanna comfort myself, cause this maybe is the ugly true of mine. =[

i think someone who reading my post will think that i'm a mental problem person.

maybe she/he will think,

got any person get the stress just from her/his imagination?how stupid is it.

but i just don't wanna cover myself any more.

it's so tough & hard for me.

i'm feel like dying.

most of the time, i trying to cry, just for relax myself.

but i didn't.

cause tears are valuable for me, & they are not worth that i cry for this.