Talking to the moon.Crying all alone.

I've no idea what's in my mind.

I've no idea what's wrong with me.

My emotion is UNSTABLE lately.

& it's totally Uncontrollable.

My mood fall into a creepy maze. A maze which is cold, full of darkness & loneliness...
I can't find my way out. There's no one & nothing leading me out. I feel so LOST.
I stand at the middle of the maze. I stare nowhere. I cry, silently.
How breathless I am, how helpless, soulless...
My sky is so grey...There's no sunshine. 
There's only rain beating on me...
It's hurt, the pain makes me feel that I'm still alive...


I feel like I've been through a lot lately...
There's tears & also laughter inside.
I cried, I smile. Try to being crazier to make myself become happier.
I tried to hard to survive. I tried to hard to let go. 
Yet, I can't get rid of negative thoughts. It's stuck at somewhere in my mind.
In addiction, 
STUDIES, it's killing me, driving me crazy!!!
I feel so stress. Seriously, I can't really catch up form 5 syllabus, I haven't really handle form 4 syllabus. 
3 months already, but I feel like I've learn nothing!!!
My mind, it's so BLANK.
I think after I watched The Black Swan, I'm getting worse.
I think it is because the movie kind of freaking me out.
I'm so afraid that I'll become Nina who turns into split-personality in the movie.
How scary!!! I even asked my friends, would I turn into like her? & they comforted me that it'll not happen.
But everything is unpredictable... Who knows what will happen tomorrow?
Who knows does The End Of The World really coming soon, very soon?
Mrs.Yong said, the latest investigation shows that The End Of The World is going to be on this year, around November if not mistaken. 
I was trying to ask, if it's real, why the hell should we study that hard?
At fact, it's a silly question.
No one ensure that it'll really happen this year. 
We shouldn't give up so easily & so fast, right? Everyone knows it'll happen, but no one knows the actual date.
Sometimes I do really wishing it comes faster so that I'll not suffer any more.
At fact, I'm a coward, I scare, I afraid of the coldness of death.
Sometimes I was wishing it to not happen that fast.
The reason is simple, because there's uncountable things that I never tried before.
I want to fulfill my wishes before I kiss the coldness of death. :)
People must die meaningfully. :P
These days,
I keep on thinking...a lot, a lot, a lot of things...
Repeat & repeat, the music replay & replay.
Time flies, I feel like my life is so meaningless, so miserable. 
I feel like I'm just a puppet of desire, of future.
I feel like I'm losing myself. Making myself breathless.
Anyone can tell me how to get rid of pressures? 
How to let go? How to stop my mind keep on thinking of these?
I put myself into a dead end...

Talking to the moon.Crying all alone.