Degree. Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Degree life, heat up with degree Celsius or Fahrenheit?
Both would be quite the same. I am toast. 

It has lots of similarities with Diploma life but it's way harder and busier. Quite hectic yet I still manage to have time to slack. LOL. Slacking is no good, trust me. I guess it is why study life is so much different with working life. I bet you can't slack while working, you'll probably get fired. That is why you can make mistakes and break rules (of course, not laws) while you still can - STUDY LIFE. 

I can't tell how much pressure I have. You might see me playing around, making jokes, laugh out loud and do whatever shit I want to, but you only seen what's on the surface, what I've decided to show the world. Being a full scholarship recipient, the pressure ain't light. You have to maintain your CGPA and work as hard as you can. You have to work 120% if others are giving it a 100%. If I lose the scholarship, my life would be a misery. Look at what happened to this country. The economy is terrible. I wasn't born rich, education ain't something cheap in Malaysia. Without the scholarship, I could barely afford it. The course fee could devour me and left me without a penny. Scholarship ain't something you can get effortlessly. 

 Sometimes your friend make fun of how "good" you are since you have scholarship. They don't think you have pressure. When you say, "Damn, I'm dying. I'm so stress." No one takes it seriously, it sounds "bullshit" to them. If you were dying, they're probably a walking dead already. Sometimes it does make me feel like, I don't have the right to say I have pressure. It's prohibited, it's wrong to say I have pressure in front of them. I shall keep it to myself. If something you can say it out loud, it's probably not true. Is that the logic of it all? Uh-uh, if you were comfortable with someone, you would say anything out loud with them, most of the time, yeah. When you spit it out, you usually tell to someone who can relate to. Well, maybe they can relate to, just can't relate it back to you. 

Whenever I feel pressure, I need to spit it out to someone. I need to express my feeling, I can't hold it to my own, it's suffocating. I can feel my heart is being squeeze by an unknown force. Killing me from the inside, literally. Writing could help though. That is one of the reasons I have a blog. Speaking of writing. Studying degree need to do numerous writing, such as literature review and thesis. Writing such thing is just not my type. I could write a story, I'm pretty good at made up stories and unleash my fantasy and creativity. If I could be a writer, I think I'll be a novelist. Writing a research paper? No. It's not my thing. I think I'm gonna throw up any time soon. Research is so not fun. I could read a summarized research, I would love to know the conclusion, the summary of it, just not the whole damn thing. Reading whole bunch of words without a single image is a torture. Unless it's an interesting novel, I could live with that. The time when I started my internship in an ad agency, I knew why I could never be a copywriter. I used to think I could try to be one someday. Well, this thought was definitely before I met the reality. Honestly, I don't know how I got that thought and where is that confidence came out from? You'll never know, maybe I really could be one someday. But first thing first, my English has to be really really really really good. I'm not sure whether I have it in me, the writer spirit and talent. 

Dateline marathon. One coming after another. A little break on weekend would make you feel guilty. Even feel depress and started to think I'm such a loser, asking why I couldn't get things done by now. Lack of motivation. The mood ain't right for me. My mood ain't right for it. Terrible human being. I could have spend more time on something useful. Why is my weekends so unproductive? Asking so many whys to myself. Is it normal to be worry what if I lose control and gone mad? Depression is a scary thing. But there's one thing that I pretty sure that is I don't want to die young. I will not suicide and do stupid thing. I scare of death. 

Being a Kia Si and Kia Su person, I shall go to bed now, rest well to prepare for fighting against my assignments. Good night, world.